…been attending Wedding fairs!
The Proud Group have been touring the country with our pretty little stall preaching the wonders of holding your Hen night or wedding reception at one of the Proud venues.
What we didn’t tell people was how it turned us into
BITTER
OLD
HAGS.
Between us we managed to trip up 6 brides and slam wedding cake into the faces of two happy couples.
The trips were considered a great success.
As Craid David used to say, “Met this girl on Monday, she put out on Tuesday, bought her a pizza on Wednesday and then on Thursday, Friday and Saturday we went to BAD SEX at Proud Camden”
We used to tell him that BAD SEX is only on a Thursday night mind, but he just wouldn’t let it lie. In the end we used to turn the lights off and pretend we weren’t in when he arrived. Abra-Kebabra across the road ended up having to do the same.
We hope LA’s treating him well.
Due to the roaring success of the last event, Proud2 has invited Westwood back for another one on the 25th February and this time some lucky bugger will win a trip to New York!
When he’s not dropping dogs or making big bombs (or whatever it is he does) he managed to find the time to whip up this nifty little video about the last event. He actually came to the Proud2 office and dropped it off this morning on a VHS. We we all like ”Woah there Westwood, VHS is like so 1990s, didn’t you get the memo?” but he just looked at blankly at us and shouted “UNDERSTAND THAT!” so we took the VHS and converted it for him.
Proud2’s Reservations Manager Becky took a trip to Proud Cabaret last night and she had a hoot.
At first it was a bit strange going to a different Proud venue, like wearing your pyjamas to work… there’s something very comfortable about it but it’s still just a bit odd.
However it didn’t take long before there were lady lumps flying all over the shop and I BLOODY LOVED IT. I spent most of my time planning lots of gym trips and dance lessons so I too could be on the stage amongst Cabaret’s finest, all whilst stuffing my face with numerous chocolate desserts and whatever those in close proximity had left over.
I’ll start tomorrow eh?
The £150,000 refit of Proud Kitchen at Camden is well under way and we just can’t wait to see it transformed into an elegantly decadent venue which oozes glamour and sophistication.
We’re thinking top hats, feather boas, cigarette holders…oh we just can’t wait to invite the mother in-law! We’re going to don our Sunday finest, sashay through the doors, pick up a chilled glass of bubbles on the way and wow everyone with our intellegent conversation about the Euro crisis.
We’re going to raise our glass to women getting the vote and those chaps that are doing such a good job abroad keeping the tea flowing in from China. Oh lets face it, we’re probably just going to get pissed and swing around a pole.
At Proud Camden we’re all pretty serious chaps. Serious business goes on and there are a lot of serious faces in the office.
We like to have serious fun with serious people. And we like to do serious buiness with seriously serious people.
We’re really serious alright?
Seriously.
Our bar staff in Camden were ask to give their best game faces on Saturday night!
Anne Marie isn’t camera shy - she was just recovering from having a glass of drink thrown in her face, totally accidentally of course….
I have a friend at Proud, who is not to be named so we shall call him Proud2 AGM.
Proud2 AGM, since I began at Proud, has had some issues with dealing with his feelings for me. And, for want of a more savory phrase, he is desperate to bed me, whether it be out of curiosity (Proud2 AGM has been straight for in excess of 25 years), perversion, lust or… my worst fear… love.
I am, it pains me to admit, exceptionally fond of Proud2 AGM despite other people’s reservations about his demeanor, attitude and excessive use of what I presume to be Burberry Brit. But I think he needs our support in finding his way out of that deep, deep closet of his.
I wont post some of our more initmate messages, but I will show you the email that Nick sent himself after logging into my account…
From: Myles
Sent: 11 November 2011 04:55
To: Nick
Subject: RE: please don’t show anyone
Please don’t show anyone this but I really want you to be here, I may be a little bit tipsy so don’t hold it against me! I don’t have your number so this is the only way I can contact you, I feel a bit stupid to be honest! It would be super if we could go for a drink at some point next week?
Hope to hear from you and looking forward to sitting next to you next meeting!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Logging in to my account, probably from his flat, my facebook open on one screen, my email on another, switching hands between the keyboards and his NEXT underpants. If you don’t believe me, I can assure you that a little bit tipsy would make my grammar a little less than perfect and, at the time, I did actually have his phone number, he just didn’t know it. I would also never use the word ‘super’ and NEVER call myself stupid.
Now Nick…This is your moment as Martine McCutchen once said. Your time to be accepted for who you are. Tell the world. You don’t need to be afraid anymore. We love you. And you have my phone number ;)
